I still haven’t built up enough courage to call myself a writer. I don’t know what it will take for me to make that leap of faith and actually say it out loud. To say it wth confidence and conviction to family and friends or even complete strangers. I guess because somewhere deep inside it has always been a dream, something that has felt so far away and as I have had nothing published, nor won any accolades for my work I feel like this is still something that is stuck in-between that place of hobby and career. Am I just seeking external validation to give me the go ahead to call myself a writer as opposed to saying I’m someone who likes to write… most likely yes.
I have really tried this year to make a point of taking time out to participate in getting amongst it, with workshops, courses and writers groups. Meeting new people and fuelling my passion, keeping me motivated when so much around me is screaming distraction. I have tried to make a point of this for a few reasons, firstly I think if I want to home school/un school the children I will need to keep my passions a priority and also keep myself learning new things in order for this to filter down to them. To show them to search for new horizons and pursue them with hunger. I also believe that I want to invest in myself as a woman, a writer (there you have it! I wrote it), a creative individual and an adventurer on this abundant journey as I am so open take. I too am worth investing time, energy and passion into. I want both my children but especially my daughter to see that although motherhood and family is my number one priority but there are other parts to me that are important and contribute to the piecing together of my purposeful spirit. That my attention and passions also ride down many other canals in life, all that intertwine and feed off each other. Boosting each other and as a mother it is ok to take time for yourself, to indulge in something/s that are just for you and yourself and that it actually enriches you as a person and gives you so much more to offer your family.That finding balance or at least attempting it is so important to a mothers spirit, to living a fulfilled and enriched existence. Finally I want to become a better writer, the only way I can become better is by doing more of it, making space for it and allowing in my life pure and simple.
So today I attended a travel writing workshop ( with the wonderful Walter Mason if you ever get a chance to do one with him I can’t recommend him highly enough http://www.waltermason.com) which to be honest I was feeling guilty about going to as I left the kids for half a day. My husband encouraged me and I am so glad he did as it re inspired me and boosted me. It got those creative juices flowing and excitement bubbling up and all the ideas that came streaming through. I actually left the course and on my way home stopped at the shops and bought a cork board for myself and my son to make vision boards. I was thinking a lot about when I went backpacking in my early twenties and how I had really manifested that with my vision board. I would add pictures, quotes and trinkets that would inspire me. I actually ended up travelling to all the places I had pinned on my board. As I have mentioned before I would love to do some travel soon and I thought I need to be visualising this and bringing it into my world now! It also sparked the thought that my son would benefit from visualising all the adventures he wants to go on and things he wants to achieve to. For me it is such a powerful tool and something I would love to encourage to be practiced within daily life.
So after I put my baby to bed, in our evening quiet time we, Otis and I sat together and printed pics, talked about all the things we wanted to do, places we wanted to visit and also about all the things we are so grateful for. He was so excited and delighted with his board and we proudly found the perfect location in his room for him to gaze at and get lost in. We left space to add things to it and talked about some pictures that he would like to collect to add to it. It was a really beautiful way to spend an evening and I realised after I had taken some time out for myself and ignited my passion I was then able to pass the flame and ignite the fire within my boy. The gift of nourishing one’s self provides insights for the whole family. A true blessing of wisdom.