In life it can be hard enough finding one’s self in the madness of the modern day hustle, let alone finding people whom we can intimately share parts of our selves with. It can be tough to break down the barriers created by so many things externally and within. For me human relationship is all about honest connection. Connection to one’s self and our environment, connection to people and humanity. It’s the fundamental relationships like mother and child, man and woman, siblings, family and chosen family that are at the core of my connection here.
I was her that little girl, who grew into a teenager who had friends but always felt a little different, like my thoughts were different to people my age, my desires and attachments so deep and always in a search to see parts of myself mirrored in my peers. I rarely found it to the depths in which I yearned, which made me further think I was “weird”, but what I was yet to learn was that i was different and weird but it was and still is totally apart of my beauty, my strength, my womanhood. So I tried to suppress the me that felt authentic and just blend. I wanted to engage and feel real depths to my connections but it’s hard when your not being true to yourself to invite others to see you and be vulnerable in return.
My thirties have become a time of allowing the real me to just be, uninhibited and with less care for judgement by those who in truth really aren’t that influential on my journey. Of course i have my moments but I am allowed. Which has allowed a lot of space for some really amazing relationships to birth and flourish. Honestly I have always connected with other women very easily but a lot of the close contact I have had ,I have been burnt and scarred from my intense encounters. I thought for along time that this was not my fault but upon reflection i own parts of these friendship breakdowns, because I wasn’t really invested in myself and therefore could not be in my sisters. Now I find the more honest I am within, open i am to extending myself to people, to other woman the more beautiful and whole my connections have become. I am attracting the depth in which I had longed for so long. All from just working on myself and not asking of others to change, but starting the change from within.
We are taught from such a young age not to support our girlfriends but to compete with them. To put your sisters down in order to climb your way to the top and that there is only room for one goddess to shine. Instead of investing and nurturing in each other, to all lift each other up and shine magnificently as individuals and as a whole. Us women, have the power to achieve far greater success by propelling each other forward than bringing eachother down. There is room for all of us, we are all on a journey and I find the more I wake up to the beauty of being vulnerable and exposed with people the more chance of seeing my reflection in another eyes, for when we connect it makes us all feel the gift of being human.
So I call on you to go fourth and be vulnerable with someone, connect on a deeper level with someone you have held back from. Don’t be afraid of the rejection, for if that is the response you receive it is surely not about you and you can just move forward knowing you were true, knowing that rejection can’t break you but strengthen you. When you open yourself up you will realise that there is really not much to be scared of, own your space, your body, your mind and spirit. You may just be surprised to see how others, women will embrace you, raise you up and how you maybe this source of inspiration for others. This is how we want to be treated and must treat each other openly and lovingly. For when we find our tribe it is so powerful, a rooted connection to this human experience in which we are all here deciphering, questioning and living as one. When we find our tribe we are finding apart of ourselves in other kindred spirits that makes this journey although alone not so lonely.