I find my self really torn at this time of year, parts of myself loving the festivities but the other half loathing the consumerism, waste and overall milking dry of the christmas production .
Having 2 small children I love creating that magic, getting lost in the make believe, wonder and really just having fun amongst the catch ups and festivities. It takes me back to my own childhood, reconnecting to that little girl who got lost in her imagination and lived there mostly until she was force to grow up.
I get upset at myself for then thinking I can’t wait till all of this is over. I am tired, work is hectic, I have a never-ending list of things to do, go go go, push push push…. bhhhhhhaaa I look around at the shops as I am staring blanking trying to find the next best christmas gift for people who pretty much have everything and whatever they do desire they can go and purchase at any convenience. I feel bad for thinking I want to run away from it all. To retreat from christmas and not be apart of something that creates so much stress, waste and negative environmental impact. But again that voice pops up and reminds me it’s a time to connect with family and friends, to give thanks and recognise another year has passed and we have made it through the hurdles and triumphs in which it has dealt us.
And so I seem to keep juggling back and fourth with this kind of thing from about October till December 25th. Because that’s how long the build up runs for. I guess what upsets me and what I am most grateful for are really the same thing and thats why I feel so torn.
I look at my children tucked safe in their beds, in their comfy, clean, christmas pyjamas. With many gifts under the tree, two parents who love them dearly. Food and treats coming from every direction, love in abundance. They are wanting or needing for nothing. Cuddles and affection on demand. I give thanks for this, life’s simple gifts in which we are so blessed with. How I am this fortunate I don’t know and I can only put it down to sheer luck?
Then you turn on the news and all the hype of christmas seems so trivial because more and more people out there are not living the same christmas fantasy, they are living in fear, alone, hungry, unsafe. Not knowing where their loved ones are if they are safe or alive. Scared to live and scared to die. Children so dirty and exhausted not able to remember the last time they were hugged, having no one to cuddle them, assure them that everything will be ok. Looks of sheer terror in their eyes as they look around for reassurance, their eyes are met with none. The future is so unclear. Not knowing what the next minute will hold let alone making it through the next day, week or anything beyond. Children so young being forced out of childhood and taking on roles of the adults who are absent around them. In the faces of the scared, innocent children, I see my children faces looking back at me… in the faces of heartbroken men as they try to salvage what is left of their families lives, all they had once worked for forced from them, I see my husband or brother looking back at me. The woman who cry in anguish and pain wishing to protect their families but are powerless to the peril around them. Not even a mother’s love enough to protect them from the tragedy around them, I see myself, my mother, my sister in their faces. My heart breaks.
For it seems so unfair that some are so lucky and others are not. While we can get so lost in our immediate lives, in the current climate of the world how easily could that be us on a television screen pleading for salvation, dreaming of a life we once owned? How would we want to world to respond if the shoe was on the other foot? Do we give the love and compassion we would want to receive? I give thanks several times, daily for the freedom and safety which surrounds my life and this I do not take for granted. Although I do not believe that I individually can change the situations playing out on a global scale I do believe I can be a source for change. I believe we are all here to do something special, to create change and impact. I believe if we channel what is true in our hearts with that intention we have the greatest power of all, a power that can create momentum. Propel us forward into a new age of human exsitance. I believe in the good of humanity, in the power of the human spirit and that change is coming.
Although I am not sure what part I play in all of this, I am slowly working towards it, figuring it out. So as you tuck your children into bed, prepare you feast and give and receive the gifts that Christmas brings. Do not take for granted the freedom, safety, joy and love that is present in your life. Give thanks and take a moment to pray, send love or just acknowledge those who are struggling through and send love and light to all those who so desperately need it right now.
Merry Christmas and many blessings to you and yours.