There is so much I want to achieve personally, some small, seemingly insignificant goals and others mammoth roads of endurance. When you become a parent, your need to guide, protect and provide for your children automatically kicks in. It’s overwhelming, beautiful, instinctual. Yet your own dreams and desires, for one’s spirit do not just fall at the wayside, NO, they may lose rank in position in the ever changing dynamic of family life but the desire to improve and better oneself still burns bright. Infact motherhood for myself had ignited a fire and has made me even more ambitious, courageous and wanting to really experience life in the truest and purest possible existence. Getting to know my depths, subtleties, stimulants all facets of my soul.
It’s such a juggle financially, energetically, emotionally and psychically. There is only so many places you can be in at one time, ONE (literally have tried and failed). Only so many hours you can work, dollars you can make, hours you can’t sleep in order to make it all come together. Although I can’t express how important it is to keep connected to one’s self throughout the momentum of motherhood (fatherhood too!!). It’s so easy to lose connection to yourself throughout the relentless needs of children, home, work, partners and life. All things we love to dedicate ourself too, wholly and completely but I want you to know it’s ok if you crave more, if you crave you. Even miss you!
We are sensitive spirits and as much as the system around us has us caught up in a grind of accumulating more, working towards superficial goals and not acknowledging our health in mind, body and spirit, I truly believe, more than ever in fact, we must continue to invest in ourselves and make our wellbeing our priority. Our children look to us for guidance, for knowledge, for spiritual nourishment. If we do not know ourselves, know our meanings and beliefs. If we choose to put our passions and desires to the side in order for material gain then we are teaching our children this is the way. But will they be happy? Are you? If we do not invest time and energy into their spiritual wellbeing, fostering their individuality, their inner beauty and building their confidence then no matter how academic they are they will never truly achieve success. If we are stressed, always irritated and ‘too busy’ then this is what our children will learn to be, if they are healthy and happy this is all we ever want for them so we must lead by example and show them how to do so.
As I look at myself and my journey over the last 5 years, I feel like I have been through such a period of internal growth and deeper self understanding. When you become a mother a new part of yourself is born and just as when a baby is born it takes time to learn, gain strength, understanding, confidence and ability in ones self. Then when you learn those skills you tap into trusting your instinct, a deeper knowing and understanding. When I became a mother I thought it was all about sacrificing one’s self in order to let my children “have it all”. To give them every material possession I could possibly provide, that in order to love them the way a mother should, I would have to put their every single need ahead of mine. This is what I grew up seeing from all the strong beautiful mothers in my cultural community. Loving so much you literally have nothing left. Naturally my children are the greatest loves of my life and my greatest treasures, I would do anything for them but as I am learning this journey is about evolving one’s self, loving oneself enough to know when you need to invest in yourself or when it’s time to invest in others. Love is not true if it is all about giving out and not giving within. Underneath all that outpour of love their must be self love. Although our best intentions to give, give, give and give a little more, it can leave us feeling depleted, exhausted and lost. We all need time to process, revive and replenish.
There is a voice inside us all that is a compass, it tells us when we need a break. When we need some self love, a time out from all the happenings around us. LISTEN!! Don’t put it off… It doesn’t even take a large amount of time, it could be going for a walk on your own everyday for 20mins, a cuppa tea, doing a class in something you like. It can also be really big stuff like studying, a weekend break, or splashing our on a retreat/massage anything you damn well please in fact. You are worth it and you love your children and family no less by investing in yourself. Make time, make you a priority. In fact you have so much extra to offer when you do. Raising children takes an enormous amount of energy and not just psychically but mental also. You are tested and you are taught so much. You draw on all your life experience, all your skills and all your emotions and what you don’t have you seek just so that you can provide your best. But always remember you are someone else child and they too want the best for you. You deserve to follow your passions, how ever long it may take. You can reach your goals no matter how far fetched they may seem. At the end of the day their is you and you have to sleep with yourself at night knowing you are enough and worthy of that self love. Their is no better lesson to teach your child then self love for they will go through life always abundant in love. So teach by example and do something nice for yourself today and all he days after that!.