I am learning so much about letting the kids be the inner guides for what it is that they truly need. Home education aside, this experience of immersing myself to educate my children is teaching me some big lessons about who we are, who I am and amazingly who they truly are.
No matter what we may want our children to be, quiet simply, they are who they. We are born with our spirit strong and many of our traits ingrained. Yes we learn along the way but essentially we just are. Sometimes as parents we want our kids to be more courageous, not so shy, have more concentration, be less stubborn….. the list goes on. A lot of this comes from our own experiences and us wanting MORE for them or “knowing what is best ” for our wildlings. In spending my days with the kids I am seeing more and more who they truly are. I am tapping into the intricate parts of their personalities, their quirks and having a deep appreciation and fundamental awakening into what lays beneath the surface of their humans vehicles. For most childhood is such a magical time, where our true nature and greatness is so clear and uninhibited. Maybe instead of preparing them for adulthood we should let them be fully embraced by childhood.
Through simply just watching them and giving them space to be. JUST BE! Not instructing or coercing, just allowing their natural and divine spirit to be, to play, to create. I see how they naturally dance through the world. My motherly instinct wishes for so much for them from this life but my intuition tells me to strip it back and DO LESS. Let them be raw, let them know that I am here to assist, aid, repair and console if they choose but also that they have got this and they can figure it out. Empower them, even from this young age to ask “what is it I need? am I ok? can I handle this?” and what ever the answer may be, know what action they need to do to move fourth. It’s a delicate dance between knowing when to step in and when to step back.
My role as a mother is to guide my children in the paths that they choose. To create the environment and empower their choices but ultimately not to do anything for them but allow them to do it for themselves. Of course as babies we rely solely on our mothers and caregivers, but as we grow and want to know and do more it’s a mothers job to know when to let one go for it. It may be small stuff now, even stuff that seems insignificant but I think that flows on into teenage years, they have and inbuilt understanding, a confidence to do it themselves. Because maybe by being there and doing all the hard stuff for our kids, while it alleviate momentarily, prevents pain and heartache in that instant, long-term it gives them the message that they are not capable themselves. It dis empowers them and tells them that they alone are not enough. We teach our kids confidence by allowing them to do life, make mistakes, fall down and know they will survive whatever is thrown at them on this journey. Because they can and will.
Home education for us at the moment highly revolves around the kids being out in nature a lot! Getting dirty, making something from nothing, playing, finding their place quite literally in the world. Seeing the wonder and beauty in nature, what greater inspiration for the young mind! (for us all really!) We also have set the kids space at home up, so that they are free to read and create art anytime and this also is a big part of what they choose to do. But what I notice that they want to do the most besides play is connect with us, their parents. Both my wildlings ask about and want to connect with my/my husbands passions of art, yoga, nature, writing and music. They want to know more about what we do, why we do it? They want to know about us, connecting emotionally, physically and mentally. My son loves hearing stories about places his dad and I have travelled and how we met, people we know, our passions and dreams for the future. We have these conversations not like adult to child but spirit to spirit, person to person. I want to let them in and for them to know us deeply in this way. I want them to respect us as their parents but also know us as loving individuals. That we too just like them have many dreams for ourselves, our loved ones, our community and the future of the world. Home education is lending itself to our kids knowing who they are, their roots through connection with their loved ones. It’s natures way to have parents/grandparents/ family be your teachers, it is a force greater than us that bestows this treasured and sacred transfer of knowledge and wisdom. It feels tribal and I am truly understanding my birth right as mother, creator and caregiver. We have just forgotten that all we have to do to be our children’s greatest teachers is to be our greatest selves.
From the beginning of civilisation the elders have taught our children and prepared and nurtured them for the future. Until we have begun a more rigid and formal system to educate our young everything progressed with respect, awareness and acknowledgement for truth and life. The family unit is something to be completely worshiped and maybe as a society we should return more power and support for it. This too for giving new mother, fathers and caregivers help and support. All we support is for them to return to work as quickly as possible.
I don’t doubt that we will have moments along this journey where it is hard or we get stuck. I don’t doubt that what we know to be true right now may in the future change. I am open to the fluidity and learning curves of this journey. But if I have learnt one thing on my personal path through motherhood it is, that when you become a parent, there is a guide within you, a compass. We don’t have a manual on how to raise children perfectly, the playing field of how, when and under what circumstances children are born into are uneven and sometimes unfair. Each child is unique and absolutely precious on arrival, we just need to foster, love and educate THE WHOLE CHILD, with a holistic and compassionate approach. We may not have felt ready, we may not even feel like we are enough but we are here shoulder deep in parenthood. Just take a moment, stop and tap into your inner compass, get to know your children’s quirks intimately and follow your gut because YOU do know exactly what your child needs despite what society or anyone tells you, YOU are the chosen one, YOU ARE ENOUGH.