Self-Care – My journey with Yoga

I am finding it a little hard to be posting weekly at the moment and considering maybe pulling it back to fort nightly, as I have just taken a big step in my personal life and decided to do my Yoga teacher training. I am only a few weeks into my 6 month course and it’s already transforming me! Beyond anything I imagined. It’s been a long time since I have felt (besides motherhood and family), that I have been exactly where I am meant to be. Like I am working towards something that I feel passionate about and that feels like it has real purpose and meaning.

You see I am one of those creative types, ha! I love a project and so my interest span over so many things, Music, art, craft, WRITING, poetry, reading, performance and the list goes on. I love working in flow and using my hands to create. Although writing is something that I have always loved and been constant, I seem to flip in and out of things quiet a lot. It could be due to my broad interest and I genuinely do love learning so many mediums. It could also be that I have struggled with my confidence and never see things through at the sheer terror of failure. I would say mostly though it’s because although I love to experience many things, none of them seem to stick, never crossing that bridge from enjoyment to feeling a sense of passion and purpose. Maybe you need the magic combination of all the above.

I have desperately been seeking that feeling where I would love to sink my teeth into something. Maybe  I was looking to hard, not actually allowing things to evolve and I guess find me. I have done a few courses over the last few years trying out different things and although they gave me a sense of satisfaction, I didn’t get the feeling like they were things that I would want to do as an everyday practice. It left me feeling lost, like I know there is something out there for me but maybe I would never find it. Yet here I am with that feeling like ‘I have arrived’. The funniest part is that when I enrolled in this course my goal was not to be a yoga teacher exactly, I was open to what may arise but thought maybe this would help me deepen my practice and help me find some answers into what next… Yoga has been a big game changer over the last 12 months and so it felt naturally like a good idea.

As with all great ideas then our minds get in the way! Funny that huh? In making my choice to do this I decided to try something different from my usual approach. I am a pragmatic, grounded thinking Virgo! I analysis everything and I tend to make choices from my head. I lead with the practical mind and not so much from the heart. This is something I think that has escalated since having children. I shouldn’t do this because… it’s so much money, takes so much time, doesn’t work with everybody’s schedule, will put people out, doesn’t fit in with my plans….and so on and on and on… But mostly because maybe somewhere deep inside it’s easier to hide behind excuses than own my space.

So I sat in meditation for a few weeks and just felt exactly what my heart was telling me to do. I had reached this crossroads where I was sure (SO SO SO SURE) that I was done doing what I have been but not sure what the next step was. As much as my head was talking me out of it my heart was telling me there was something here for me. So I jumped in, heart first. I feel like I am so in sync with myself and I had almost forgotten what it felt like to feel like that. A sense of utter joy in the doing..

About a year ago I started committing to my practice several times a week, no excuses. At home and classes. I feel like I have worked through so much stuff on my mat and it has filtered through so many aspects of my life. Key areas are parenting, self-love and care. I feel like the more I am dedicated to a regular practice, the more grounded I am with the kids, more rational, more connected and more conscious. I feel I don’t fly off the handle so much and I tend to just not let the small stuff that used to get to me, affect me so much. It has made me observe how I am as a mother and acknowledge things that I feel I am doing well and other areas where I feel i can modify things. Also more grounded in the decision-making of how is it that I truly want, need, must parent each individual child. I have my mat out at home and even if I feel like things are getting too much I literally go sit, or stretch on my space and give myself a break. Even this, the kids ask what I am doing and it either opens up a dialogue about how I am feeling, how they fell or they join me. My son actually asks me and his Dad to do meditations now. Hurrah!

I have learnt in the time and space that I allow myself (guilt free now), how hard I have been on myself for so long. How hard I push myself and how much pressure I put myself under. I have been the cause of most of my suffering for so long. Now I approach myself with more love, kindness and gratitude. The nicer I am to myself the more I seem to flourish and thrive. I focus on my strengths and acknowledge my weaknesses but don’t channel my energies there any longer. I channel them where I want to see myself shine. Invest them in the people and things I love.  Trust in the process of life and try practice being present. As mothers we give out so much loving energy to our children and families and to raise these beautiful souls it uses ALOT of vital energy. It’s certainly not an easy job and it is relentless. The little energy we have left we need to harness not direct into self loathing, or feeling unworthy.

The funny part is when we offer our selves that space, even as little as an hour a week to tap into ourselves. Reconnect with ourselves in something that makes us feel great, a walk, a class, a meditation, a good book, a coffee child free!, WHATEVER YOUR ZEN MAYBE! When we make ourselves a priority two things happen we find a joy in ourselves again, a love for ourselves, a contentment in our life and it flows into all aspects of our lives! By us loving ourselves enough we are also teaching our children one of the biggest lessons in life too. That they must love themselves enough, they are worthy and need to make themselves a priority! As one day they may choose to become a parent, or maybe that is not their path but either way they will know by the example that was set for them, that self-love is one of the most important kinds of relationships that we engage in as it will determine all the others we experience throughout the rest of our lives.

I encourage you this week to find a space even if it’s for 15 mins to just sit with yourself and see what comes us for you. Just drop down into your heart, feel and listen. You may be surprised what you hear or maybe the freedom of dropping out from the constant noise may free you in a whole new way. Just remember YOU ARE WORTHY!

Blessings A x

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How do we say it aloud?.. We are going to homeschool!

I have been a little slack with posting of late but I have been working through a lot of things and generally been feeling quiet tired. We have been busy and the long weekend gave us a chance to reconnect and regroup as a family.

I think I have also been quiet as we have been to a few events lately where people have mentioned that my son will be starting school next year and asking if we have looked into schools ect. I find myself feeling awkward and brushing it off like “we still have lots of time to think about it”, as I don’t feel like I want to have THAT conversation with disapproving eyes and judgements. Although this is what I have thought in my head and the reality is it could be a totally different scenario. A lot of people close to us know our intentions but it has made me feel like a bit of a fraud and coward to be honest.

The fact is that I have been researching and reading, attending seminars and conferences for the last two years on homeschooling our kids. It is by no means a choice I or my husband has taken lightly. I think this is a far more challenging but in my view rewarding route to take on. I don’t think it will be easy, but when I think of sending the kids to school, although I went to school myself it feels so unnatural, so wrong for us and mostly for them. I don’t think this is the case for everyone but more so for our unit. I have and continue to look into some local Steiner Schools in our area, which seem lovely but when I really connect to it, home educating at least for the early part seems most right. I am not anti school, I feel for many reasons that this is the way we want to raise our children.

So I guess because I am following my instincts, my mother’s intuition I have to trust that when the time is right all those whom we care for will understand and if not understand just accept and encourage us on the path we choose for our family. We more than anyone else want whats best for our children. I think this is a big challenge for me also because I tend to be such a people pleaser but I feel this test has been put before me, for a reason. To show me my strength, to learn to speak my truth and not be ashamed of it. I am only doing what feels best for my family and it’s not at the harm of anyone else.

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Image sourced from @parentingpassage

There you have it I guess as the year ticks on by more and more people will ask us about schooling options for our kids and I will undoubtedly have to speak my truth. For now I have a bit more time for it to sit and build courage within. I know, as my heart speaks to me that it is the right thing so I must trust… trust that all will be well when you pursue truth. These are my core values and I test them in real time, I trust in the lessons of the heart.

For any other homeschooling families out there I would love to know how have tackled telling people close or random about homeschooling and what responses have been. Prepare me my friends..

Blessings love and light… xx A

Listen! Don’t put it off… Goals, Self love and family life!

There is so much I want to achieve personally, some small, seemingly insignificant goals and others mammoth roads of endurance. When you become a parent, your need to guide, protect and provide for your children automatically kicks in. It’s overwhelming, beautiful, instinctual. Yet your own dreams and desires, for one’s spirit do not just fall at the wayside, NO, they may lose rank in position in the ever changing dynamic of family life but the desire to improve and better oneself still burns bright. Infact motherhood for myself had ignited a fire and has made me even more ambitious, courageous and wanting to really experience life in the truest and purest possible existence. Getting to know my depths, subtleties, stimulants all facets of my soul.

It’s such a juggle financially, energetically, emotionally and psychically. There is only so many places you can be in at one time, ONE (literally have tried and failed). Only so many hours you can work, dollars you can make, hours you can’t sleep in order to make it all come together. Although I can’t express how important it is to keep connected to one’s self throughout the momentum of motherhood (fatherhood too!!). It’s so easy to lose connection to yourself throughout the relentless needs of children, home, work, partners and life. All things we love to dedicate ourself too, wholly and completely but I want you to know it’s ok if you crave more, if you crave you. Even miss you!

We are sensitive spirits and as much as the system around us has us caught up in a grind of accumulating more, working towards superficial goals and not acknowledging our health in mind, body and spirit, I truly believe, more than ever in fact, we must continue to invest in ourselves and make our wellbeing our priority. Our children look to us for guidance, for knowledge, for spiritual nourishment. If we do not know ourselves, know our meanings and beliefs. If we choose to put our passions and desires to the side in order for material gain then we are teaching our children this is the way. But will they be happy? Are you? If we do not invest time and energy into their spiritual wellbeing, fostering their individuality, their inner beauty and building their confidence then no matter how academic they are they will never truly achieve success. If we are stressed, always irritated and ‘too busy’ then this is what our children will learn to be, if they are healthy and happy this is all we ever want for them so we must lead by example and show them how to do so.

As I look at myself and my journey over the last 5 years, I feel like I have been through such a period of internal growth and deeper self understanding.  When you become a mother a new part of yourself is born and just as when a baby is born it takes time to learn, gain strength, understanding, confidence and ability in ones self. Then when you learn those skills you tap into trusting your instinct, a deeper knowing and understanding. When I became a mother I thought it was all about sacrificing one’s self in order to let my children “have it all”. To give them every material possession I could possibly provide, that in order to love them the way a mother should, I would have to put their every single need ahead of mine. This is what I grew up seeing from all the strong beautiful mothers in my cultural community. Loving so much you literally have nothing left. Naturally my children are the greatest loves of my life and my greatest treasures, I would do anything for them but as I am learning this journey is about evolving one’s self, loving oneself enough to know when you need to invest in yourself or when it’s time to invest in others. Love is not true if it is all about giving out and not giving within. Underneath all that outpour of love their must be self love. Although our best intentions to give, give, give and give a little more, it can leave us feeling depleted, exhausted and lost. We all need time to process, revive and replenish.

There is a voice inside us all that is a compass, it tells us when we need a break. When we need some self love, a time out from all the happenings around us. LISTEN!! Don’t put it off… It doesn’t even take a large amount of time, it could be going for a walk on your own everyday for 20mins, a cuppa tea, doing a class in something you like. It can also be really big stuff like studying, a weekend break, or splashing our on a retreat/massage anything you damn well please in fact. You are worth it and you love your children and family no less by investing in yourself. Make time, make you a priority. In fact you have so much extra to offer when you do. Raising children takes an enormous amount of energy and not just psychically but mental also. You are tested and you are taught so much. You draw on all your life experience, all your skills  and all your emotions and what you don’t have you seek just so that you can provide your best. But always remember you are someone else child and they too want the best for you. You deserve to follow your passions, how ever long it may take. You can reach your goals no matter how far fetched they may seem. At the end of the day their is you and you have to sleep with yourself at night knowing you are enough and worthy of that self love. Their is no better lesson to teach your child then self love for they will go through life always abundant in love. So teach by example and do something nice for yourself today and all he days after that!.

 

Blessings x

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Morning Gratitude

 

I have recently read a book, that I would highly recommend called “You are your child’s first teacher “/ encouraging your child’s natural development from birth to six – Rahima Baldwin Dancy. Rahima is a well respected Waldorf Educator and this book is one I wish I had read when I first became a mother, as it has so much useful and practical insight into the lives and well being of babies and children but also mothers. I am very much drawn to Steiner education and philosophy as learning through beauty and creativity is something that resonates with me deeply and that I practice within my own life.

 

There was lots within these pages that really spoke to me, but there is one thing I have recently implemented into our daily routine that I am loving and I wanted to share. We as a family do not practice any particular religion, I personally have many ways in which I pray, meditate and give gratitude on a daily basis. There are lots of religious texts that resonate with me and that I refer too without being rigid in my beliefs but more taking bits of what speaks to me and incorporating them into my life. Allowing them to inspire me, living by them through my human spirit. As a child we would pray in the evening before dinner and give thanks. Something I think is a truly beautiful gift for all in the family. A moment to stop and take note of what lays in front of you, to acknowledge how it was prepared, who you are sharing your meal with and all you have to be thankful for. Now when I read in this book about incorporating a “giving thanks” before dinner it really bought up a lot of positive memories and I thought this is definitely something I want to bring to life in our home. I love the idea of instilling ritual, gratitude and connection within our children.

So for a week or so there I attempted to do “giving thanks before dinner”, it did not go as I had planned it in my head (but when do things ever?). The kids were overtired, not really listening or engaging, they were hungry and just wanted to devour what was in front of them and they just didn’t seem to be connecting with it. You know those moments as a parent you feel discouraged,  you feel like you put so much effort, thought and love into something that seems to be received with very little care. I felt hurt and frustrated and after the week was out I just thought why bother… I just won’t.

A few days later, I went to a yoga class and in the class the teacher read a passage that just sung to my heart when I heard it. You know when you hear words put together that speak exactly as your heart feels, it feels like that springtime warmth of the sun on your skin but on the inside. After class I asked her what the passage was and she said I was more than welcome to take a photo of it on my phone, so I did. I got home and I read it and re read it. I sent it to my mother and sister as it moved me so much. I thought to myself this is exactly how I want to live my life, I want to wake everyday and read this passage, to inspire my day, my life and the world around me. I then thought actually this is what I want for my children. Maybe I could read it with them when they wake of a morning. So I decided after we wake up each morning, the kids have had breakfast and we find our groove to start a little ritual. To get the kids engaged and feel really connected to this we have created a little “Morning Gratitude” that evolves something like this. The kids get their box of crystals out, a beautiful little cloth with bells, a candle and a small little table. I get the kids to dress the table with the cloth, place the candle on it, place crystals and anything they really want to, then they both choose a special crystal that they hold. I begin to light the candle and as I do I tell them as we light this candle we are lighting up our intentions for the universe. They sit and repeat after me as I say the following passage.

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“We give thanks and gratitude and send love and light to all those in need at this time.”

I then let the kids blow out the candle, which they love and as the smoke rises I tell them look at our prayers going up to the universe. They love this and now they are actually asking to do it. They are wanting to do it and connecting with the time of reflection. The funny part is we were at their grandparents house the other night and before dinner Lil O asked if we could say a prayer and give thanks for our food. So we did. It’s funny how they absorb things, process things and when that connection is made they live it and truly understand it. I guess we are not only their first teachers but their biggest teachers. In all that we say yes, but more how we do and how we live our truth. I love those moments when you see flashes of the most purest of hearts, that of a child. As a parent it’s their innocence and purity that keeps you working harder, expanding and bettering yourself in order to give them exactly what they need. What they deserve. It’s pure and unconditional love.

So I hope this little offering of morning gratitude inspires you to create some time to give thanks for the abundance in your life. It’s there you just have to want to see it. Create a space in your week to connect and engage in a little ritual that will create moments of magic within yourself and your family.

Love and blessings friends, I am always open to connecting so please feel free to let me know how you go with your little moments of offerings.

Peace

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The two faces of Christmas

I find my self really torn at this time of year, parts of myself loving the festivities but the other half loathing the consumerism, waste and overall milking dry of the christmas production .

Having 2 small children I love creating that magic, getting lost in the make believe, wonder and really just having fun amongst the catch ups and festivities. It takes me back to my own childhood, reconnecting to that little girl who got lost in her imagination and lived there mostly until she was force to grow up.

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I get upset at myself for then thinking I can’t wait till all of this is over. I am tired, work is hectic, I have a never-ending list of things to do, go go go, push push push…. bhhhhhhaaa I look around at the shops as I am staring blanking trying to find the next best christmas gift for people who pretty much have everything and whatever they do desire they can go and purchase at any convenience. I feel bad for thinking I want to run away from it all. To retreat from christmas and not be apart of something that creates so much stress, waste and negative environmental impact. But again that voice pops up and reminds me it’s a time to connect with family and friends, to give thanks and recognise another year has passed and we have made it through the hurdles and triumphs in which it has dealt us.

And so I seem to keep juggling back and fourth with this kind of thing from about October till December 25th. Because that’s how long the build up runs for. I guess what upsets me and what I am most grateful for are really the same thing and thats why I feel so torn.

I look at my children tucked safe in their beds, in their comfy, clean, christmas pyjamas. With many gifts under the tree, two parents who love them dearly. Food and treats coming from every direction, love in abundance. They are wanting or needing for nothing. Cuddles and affection on demand. I give thanks for this, life’s simple gifts in which we are so blessed with. How I am this fortunate I don’t know and I can only put it down to sheer luck?

Then you turn on the news and all the hype of christmas seems so trivial because more and more people out there are not living the same christmas fantasy, they are living in fear, alone, hungry, unsafe. Not knowing where their loved ones are if they are safe or alive. Scared to live and scared to die. Children so dirty and exhausted not able to remember the last time they were hugged, having no one to cuddle them, assure them that everything will be ok. Looks of sheer terror in their eyes as they look around for reassurance, their eyes are met with none. The future is so unclear. Not knowing what the next minute will hold let alone making it through the next day, week or anything beyond. Children so young being forced out of childhood and taking on roles of the adults who are absent around them. In the faces of the scared, innocent children, I see my children faces looking back at me… in the faces of heartbroken men as they try to salvage what is left of their families lives, all they had once worked for forced from them, I see my husband or brother looking back at me. The woman who cry in anguish and pain wishing to protect their families but are powerless to the peril around them. Not even a mother’s love enough to protect them from the tragedy around them, I see myself, my mother, my sister in their faces. My heart breaks.

For it seems so unfair that some are so lucky and others are not. While we can get so lost in our immediate lives, in the current climate of the world how easily could that be us on a television screen pleading for salvation, dreaming of a life we once owned? How would we want to world to respond if the shoe was on the other foot? Do we give the love and compassion we would want to receive? I give thanks several times, daily for the freedom and safety which surrounds my life and this I do not take for granted. Although I do not believe that I individually can change the situations playing out on a global scale I do believe I can be a source for change. I believe we are all here to do something special, to create change and impact. I believe if we channel what is true in our hearts with that intention we have the greatest power of all, a power that can create momentum.  Propel us forward into a new age of human exsitance. I believe in the good of humanity, in the power of the human spirit and that change is coming.

 

Although I am not sure what part I play in all of this, I am slowly working towards it, figuring it out. So as you tuck your children into bed, prepare you feast and give and receive the gifts that Christmas brings. Do not take for granted the freedom, safety, joy and love that is present in your life. Give thanks and take a moment to pray, send love or just acknowledge those who are struggling through and send love and light to all those who so desperately need it right now.

Merry Christmas and many blessings to you and yours.

 

Finding my Tribe

 

In life it can be hard enough finding one’s self in the madness of the modern day hustle, let alone finding people whom we can intimately share parts of our selves with. It can be tough to break down the barriers created by so many things externally and within. For me human relationship is all about honest connection. Connection to one’s self and our environment, connection to people and humanity. It’s the fundamental relationships like mother and child, man and woman, siblings, family and chosen family that are at the core of my connection here.

 

I was her that little girl, who grew into a teenager who had friends but always felt a little different, like my thoughts were different to people my age, my desires and attachments so deep and always in a search to see parts of myself mirrored in my peers. I rarely found it to the depths in which I yearned, which made me further think I was “weird”, but what I was yet to learn was that i was different and weird but it was and still is totally apart of my beauty, my strength, my womanhood. So I tried to suppress the me that felt authentic and just blend. I wanted to engage and feel real depths to my connections but it’s hard when your not being true to yourself to invite others to see you and be vulnerable in return.

My thirties have become a time of allowing the real me to just be, uninhibited and with less care for judgement by those who in truth really aren’t that influential on my journey. Of course i have my moments but I am allowed. Which has allowed a lot of space for some really amazing relationships to birth and flourish. Honestly I have always connected with other women very easily but a lot of the close contact I have had ,I have been burnt and scarred from my intense encounters. I thought for along time that this was not my fault but upon reflection i own parts of these friendship breakdowns, because I wasn’t really invested in myself and therefore could not be in my sisters. Now I find the more honest I am within, open i am to extending myself to people, to other woman the more beautiful and whole my connections have become. I am attracting the depth in which I had longed for so long. All from just working on myself and not asking of others to change, but starting the change from within.

We are taught from such a young age not to support our girlfriends but to compete with them. To put your sisters down in order to climb your way to the top and that there is only room for one goddess to shine. Instead of investing and nurturing in each other, to all lift each other up and shine magnificently as individuals and as a whole. Us women, have the power to achieve far greater success by propelling each other forward than bringing eachother  down. There is room for all of us, we are all on a journey and I find the more I wake up to the beauty of being vulnerable and exposed with people the more chance of seeing my reflection in another eyes, for when we connect it makes us all feel the gift of being human.

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So I call on you to go fourth and be vulnerable with someone, connect on a deeper level with someone you have held back from. Don’t be afraid of the rejection, for if that is the response you receive it is surely not about you and you can just move forward knowing you were true, knowing that rejection can’t break you but strengthen you. When you open yourself up you will realise that there is really not much to be scared of, own your space, your body, your mind and spirit. You may just be surprised to see how others, women will embrace you, raise you up and how you maybe this source of inspiration for others. This is how we want to be treated and must treat each other openly and lovingly. For when we find our tribe it is so powerful, a rooted connection to this human experience in which we are all here deciphering, questioning and living as one. When we find our tribe we are finding apart of ourselves in other kindred spirits that makes this journey although alone not so lonely.

Peace x

 

 

Evolving Spirit

The deeper I challenge myself and the deeper I journey through  finding and exploring my authentic self, the more of an understanding I have of the mother I am and want to be for my children, the intentional existence and experience I want to have and share here and really connecting with my purpose on this journey. Life has been so crazy the past few years and although I am sure it won’t slow down in many respects,  I aim to live a more present, slower pace and respectful existence.

I have been meditating and committing to my yoga practice again because the time feels right, it brings me so much clarity and makes me feel present and content in a pyshical and emotional state. I have also been working with crystals and essential oils and really sitting with myself and allowing myself the time and space to be and allow what is meant to unfold to do just that. I feel a strong connection and a trust between myself and the earth, I am venturing into a new chapter, I am making the choices that feel right for me right now, trusting that intuition and not trying to control but allow things to come to me and flow, in their natural order.

Learning to trust my instincts even though this should come naturally has become something that at times I have to remind myself to surrender to, collectively we are fed so much negativity and fear that we even forget we have nothing to fear when we go within. Even through the worry of what others might think, say or feel to be true, we must reconnect inward and follow and trust our instincts of what feels right to ones self. I heard someone saying the other day, something along the lines of “you may as well do what you want to do in life because people are going to judge you either way.” This is so true, it’s the harsh judgements of the world that can prevent us from making honest choices yet even when we try to please we are left feeling unfulfilled and still judged and mis understood. So follow your heart, with good intentions leading you, the rest doesn’t matter because this is your journey, your story.

I am in a place right now where I am not entirely sure where I want to be in my life, I have rough ideas of things and inspirations I want to achieve although not entirely clear of a direct path. I feel so certain some days and hazy on the subject on others. Although I am a creative, I have moods which change with the seasons and I allow them to just be, it’s apart of my nature and I love to be free to express myself, something I will always allow space for. Amongst this I am feeling really in tune with myself and totally trusting I am on the right path. It’s all about the journey, not the destination right? Even in the moments where I am feeling completely lost and they are fewer and far between I feel connected to my journey here in a way which I have never before. I trust the process, I trust my instincts and I trust my capabilities.

We are all evolving at different times, speeds, sounds, feels, it doesn’t matter where you are at in your journey as long as you are sitting in a place that feels right for you. If you aren’t , you have the power to create change, we all possess such unlimited potential. The forces around us can push us down, break us for a time but they can’t define our spirit. We are the truth we seek. So please share to anyone who you feel maybe on a similar path, want to be or that you think this may resonate with because we are all here to share this human experience and I would love to connect. Peace

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Honouring one’s Self..

The last few weeks have been a total blur and as we enter the rounding off this year, along with list of to do’s, events, work, reflections of the year that has just swept by us so quickly has come a tiredness. A flat out exhaustion in fact I feel like energetically this is the hardest part of the year as we aren’t quite at the end but your mind and body are telling you you need a break and they are done.

I haven’t had the time or energy to write or do much that allows me the space to get into myself, check in and process it all. On top of the normal madness of life we have been getting ready to move house. Boy that is never easy or fun especially with two little peeps in tow but somehow we make it all happen and get it all done. The last couple of weeks as the pressure and tasks at hand seem to be mounting up and I can feel an anxiousness taking hold I have taken a step back and reminded myself to acknowledge the feelings that are coming up, acknowledge that there is a lot going on and to take some time out to honour myself and to be kind to myself. Treat myself, be loving to myself.  I have also been trying a technique when I am feeling overwhelmed with so many things on a growing to do list to set myself to complete the tasks that need attending to in the here and now and whatever can’t be done will be ok, ask myself will the world stop turning if this doesn’t get done? Tell myself it will be ok and it will get done in time, do what you can. That is all you can do. I have found this to help me feel calmer and more relaxed and also realise that a lot of the time what is stressing us is a manifestation in our own mind, once we let it go it will no longer hold us back. I have found a relief and lightness in this revelation.

I think instead of pushing feeling down and not acknowledging them,” I am tired, I am scared, I am sad” it makes them rear there little heads in more harming ways. I am learning to honour myself, feel the feelings that are telling me something for a reason! Its ok to feel whatever really because we are human and because everything passes good and bad. I have been in the biggest shift in the last 12 months and i believe a lot of things are presenting themselves some challenges and some not so but either way I am acknowledging them and thanking them for there blessings of truth and wisdom. I am growing and open to what ever comes from these offerings.

Our Life’s Teachers

As I tap into myself more and really look around me I have come to realise that I have surrounded myself with my teachers. Some have been placed in my life and others I have sought after, few I have stumbled across. At different points I have attracted different teachers to help me learn the lessons I have needed to for that time and space in my life. Teachers aren’t always positive people or role model material, sometimes quite the opposite but they are present to help us understand the lessons on our journey.

We are all but human trying to decipher this unique experience and through connecting and interconnecting we learn and attempt to figure it all out. It’s overwhelming, epic and abundant on so many levels. I feel blessed for the teachers I have had in the past all the good and not so because when I look around at the people I have, my teachers who I intentionally have in my life I feel like I am learning and growing as a woman and human being in depths like I never have before. It’s from those previous teachers who I have allowed to shadow negativity on me that I have learnt the lessons that have empowered me not to go back to that but forward, not go low but high and away from the dark and towards the light. To let the light workers in my life, for me to watch, admire and model on. Some of those beautiful souls have been there from the beginning and I really understand how lucky I have been to be born into a loving family, have my siblings and family who have guided me continuously and lovingly. Accepting me flawed and yet lovingly human.

I have realised some of my greatest teachers have been much younger than me, much older than me, sometimes we have barely spoken a common language, they have been people that I have met so briefly but their impact imprinted deeply, I have come to realise that sometimes people are placed directly in your path with intention and reason. Sometimes you wonder why, or brush them off as you having nothing to learn from them but in hindsight they bared great gifts of knowledge, wisdom and insight.

I look at my two young children now how my baby mimics her brother, watching him intensely, admiring him and his skill, adoring him. My son has learnt patience, compassion and tolerance from his little sister and they continue to teach each other on a psychical, spiritual and emotional level. They are one of each other greatest teachers and as I watch them grow and learn from each other, I too am learning, reflecting and finding a great understanding in this connected experience. That we are all great teachers  of some kind to people we know we have impacted and others we don’t even realise. We are also students learning and growing from the people we place in our lives intentionally and for those who have been placed in way we must stop and take note of the lessons they bring to us, in order for us to grow and create the change in our lives.

My children are teaching me daily and through the lessons they have taught me I am a much better person, I can only hope I can return the knowledge and that i can be a woman, mother and teacher that they to can learn from and want to emulate. For the meantime I indulge in watching them learn and grow, change and mould into the beautiful light beings they are! What joy there is when we learn and teach along side each other.

Love and light all xx

I Have Arrived

There is something about coming to a place in your life when you feel you have “arrived”. Please let me explain, as a child and a teen I had always felt that I was an older person trapped in my young body. I had a wisdom that few people my age shared, a depth and thought process that was beyond my years and a feeling like in many ways I had done all this before. I have always connected and had friends far beyond my years, feeling like a lot of the time I could relate to them more than I could people my own age. I even remember as a really small child I would love sitting at the “adults table” talking with all my aunties and relatives and joining in, listening to their conversations it would totally feel natural too me and captivate me.

Throughout my mid/late 20’s I became a mother, and felt my energy shifting. I was feeling stronger in myself, empowered and more secure in who I was. I was letting go of a lot of the things that had built up in me, that were no longer serving me positively and making space to just sit into myself and just be. I didn’t feel the need to keep comparing myself to others, measuring my worth on where I was sitting on the big life race. Travel had really played a big part in just helping find myself amongst the setting of the world and opening my eyes to all I could be out there!!

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Now I am here in my early thirties and I must say I feel like I have finally arrived. Arrived at the perfect age, the perfect place, the perfect time. Arrived at the best version of myself to date. I feel like I know myself in-depth in a way in which I have not ever connected within since childhood. I dream big again, I believe it is all possible, I create my world exactly how I want it. Just being, allowing myself space to unfold and be free. To create uninhibitedly, to put myself out there, to connect as a mother, a partner, a human. I love where I am at in myself and have let go a lot of the mind numbing rubbish that is being fed to us through media, politics and mainstream society about how we should be, look,live, create and relate. I have everything I need in the earth, my breath, my family, my capabilities and myself. I have surrounded myself with people who get it and are journeying too and even the ones who don’t get it love me for the way I am. I think my 30’s have been a big change of the game and if I am blessed enough to live a long life I think that it will all just get better, it’s like the truth lies within the experiences you create.

I have arrived to realise I was born in perfection and somewhere along the way I/we lose pieces of ourselves until slowly we can’t recognise who we are anymore. I have journeyed back to my essence and learnt to trust that spirit with in that is guiding me to strength and  empowering me to take the risks to live on my own terms no matter how harsh the judgement. For I was born a creative being of unconditional love and will be returned brighter, creatively fine-tuned and a beam of euphoric light.14787046_10154580291593554_1027909951_o